where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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