Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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