That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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