So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
