The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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