I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
