I heard we made out
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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