no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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