Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
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