I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
ugly people sure do ruin things
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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