k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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