So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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