At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
