Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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