check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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