"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
