8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
