We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
