youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
