i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
