Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
