There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
