after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize