so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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