Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
