im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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