I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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