wakey wakey hands off snakey
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
