Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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