Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
