I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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