I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
