Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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