I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
