So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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