Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
