I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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