Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She needs sedatives and a leash
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
