Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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