If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
