I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
