It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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