I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
