Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
