I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
