STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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