We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
