found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
