$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
