apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize