That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
