Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
