Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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