Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
