i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize