I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
