fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
