I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
