I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
