hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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