I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I intend to get homeless drunk
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
