it wasn't lemon gatorade
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
