so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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