he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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