do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
