Dual....:-)
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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