16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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