In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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